For two summers I drove a cab. In Boston. (I was wikkid at driving a cah.) It has taken more than 35 years to get all the bad driving habits from that summer out of my system.

I can’t remember the last time I drove to work. Today I drove. It felt very strange. Even though traffic was light it was stressful. All the other drivers were doing stupid things. Couldn’t they see that I was driving? What is wrong with them?!!!

It all started with a humongous millipede. It was hairy and it was crawling on the top of the door in our bathroom. Normally, Mrs. Rootchopper calls for me to slay these invaders but, pressed for time, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Forgetting that she has been unable to jump since she was run over by an SUV, she jumped.

POP!

My daughter was standing right next to her and heard it. My wife both heard it and felt it.  It was her right calf tearing.

She tried to RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation) it but, after getting better for a few days, it got worse. So yesterday she went to the ER. They put her lower leg in a cast making it impossible for her to drive. I could read the writing on the wall. I’ll be biking to work again some time in December. Ugh.

So I drove her to work today. Late in the morning I picked her up and drove her to the orthopedist. He took off the cast. The diagnosis took no time at all. Torn calf muscle. Four to six months to heal. Use crutches or a cane. No cast needed. You can drive.

He is now the official orthopedic surgeon of the Rootchopper Institute.

I’m back in the saddle again.

It will feel really normal. I don’t like strange.