From “Fritter to Oblio to Deets”

I have come up with several names for my new bike, a Surly Cross Check. Here’s a list:

  • Fritter – This is brilliant I must say on several levels. Cool that it came from someone with the same initials as my Twitter handle. And that she sold me the bike.
  • Checkers – This one bewilders me. Reminds me of Nixon. Would I have to wear a Republican cloth coat while riding it this winter. I’d be inclined to go with Fala.
  • Harper – A swing and a miss from Katie Lee, a serious Nats and Cross Check fan. It was her enthusiasm for her Cross Check that got me interesting in buying one. Can’t use it because it’s the name of my son’s ex-girlfriend’s brother. Also, would sound exploitative of Harper Lee (a twisted coincidence) who’s been exploited enough this year.
  • Tony – This one’s actually kind of growing on me. It has multiple levels. Anthony Rendon, a.k.a Tony Two Bags a.k.a Tony Rendoni is my favorite Washington National. Mostly because he sometimes yawns during at bats. (How anybody can yawn when they are about to face a 98 mile per hour heater is beyond me.) Also, Tony Conigliaro was beaned on my 12th birthday, an event that began 37 years of summer suffering. Until Cowboy Up!.
  • Bryce – Another one from Katie Lee. I am pretty sure that she was not referring to Bryce Canyon or Bryce Dallas Howard. I am also pretty sure she was jerking my chain. She’s exceptionally good at that.
  • Oblio – the name of the character who owns Arrow the dog in The Point. Katie named her Cross Check Arrow. Now that I think about it, Oblio might be better used as a nickname for Katie. Or maybe Oblia. (You may shoot me now Katie.)
  • Several from Lonesome Dove
    • Woodrow – the name of Tommy Lee Jones’s character in Lonesome Dove. He’s a hard working hardass.
    • Augustus – the name of Robert Duvall’s Lonesome Dove character. He as a drunk and a womanizer with a heart of gold.
    • The Hell Bitch – a short-lived name I once used for The Mule. It’s Woodrow’s horse’s name.
    • Lore Darlin’ or Lorena – the name of the “sportin’ woman” that Augustus protects (and “pokes”) in Lonesome Dove. (Readers of this blog know that this name has a second meaning to me of much more serious import. I won’t use it on something so frivolous as a bike name. I love the name though.)
    • Newt – Woodrow’s illegitimate son. Just a weird name.
    • Deets – Joshua Deets, the scout for the Hat Creek catttle drive.  “Cheerful in all weathers. Never shirked a task. Splendid behavior.” Sounds like a bike you’d want to have on a long ride, doesn’t it.
  • Wilson – A triple meaning name. It’s the name of the National’s catcher. It’s the name of a Phish song (Katie is a Phish Phanatic). It is an old nickname for my siblings and me. I  hated being called this. (And, yes, I also am ruling out “Charge” and “Fence”.) Although now that I think about it “Mustang Sally” wouldn’t be so bad.
  • McCloud – an running joke from a Mystery Science Theater episode that I watched at Katie’s insistence. It doesn’t hurt that McCloud rode a horse in the New York City in the credits of the eponymous TV show.

So there you have it.  I’m heavily leaning towards “Deets”. It would be nice to know what his horse’s name was, but you gotta like a bike that is “cheerful in all weathers”.