Let’s Start with Some Math

The event is the 50 States Ride, the Washington Area Bicyclists Association annual trek on the streets of DC. The route rambles all over the city so that participants ride on each of the streets named for a US state (plus Columbia Road for those who want statehood for DC).

The distance is normally about 60 miles. Each year WABA tweaks the route. This year’s version clocked in at 58.4 miles. Nobody complained. Did I mention that the route is notoriously hilly? Well, now I did. And now that I think about it, you should know that the streets are open to car traffic. Hats off to all those DC drivers who waited patiently for us.

According to WABA’s Jordan Mittleman, the route included some 200 turns. The cue sheet, for those of us old timers who hate digital maps, is 22 pages long. I kid you not.

Since I turned 70 this year, I was expecting to be challenged. Indeed I was. I found out when we hit 18th Street Northeast at about 2 1/2 miles into the day that my granny (climbing) gears were not working. Yeah well. Suck it up, gramps.

Weather conditions were as good as it gets. Overcast skies, light breezes, temperatures in the 70s. It was a bit humid but I wasn’t complaining one bit.

So here is the tale of my 17th 50 States Ride.

The Posse

Each year I ride with a group of friends. For the first time that I can recall this year’s posse contained no rookies. Michael, Chris, Kevin, and I are the most experienced. Next come Sara, Neena, Domitille, and Domitille’s husband Timotheé. (Michael has a painful bone bruise in his knee; he would depart the route at about 15 miles, but met us at the finish with pizza in hand.) Lastly, we were joined for the first eight miles by Jon who had to speed ahead after the first pit stop at the eight-mile mark to make a soccer daddy pickup in the afternoon.

Gear Woes

Weirdly, Domitille had the same granny gear problem that I did. Sad face. Sara had an issue with her front derailleur as well but cleverly found a bike shop near the first pit stop and had it repaired.

The Ride Itself

We began near Metrobar in Eckington in Northeast DC, close to the center of the city. To avoid congestion and other problems, we left just before WABA released the first of many groups led by ride marshals.

The first eight miles took us through northeast DC, west of the Anacostia River. We encountered only a couple of hills along the way and, thanks to route changes, we spent all but 200 yards on Michigan and South Dakota Avenues, two notorious car sewers. Heading south we passed Gallaudet University and, shortly thereafter, the ghost bike of our departed friend Dave Salovesh on Florida Avenue.

The route started a spiral through Capitol Hill, the Navy Yard, and Hill East neighborhoods. In five miles we bagged seven states.

As we rode through Hill East and over the river to Anacostia, we began to encounter a problem. The marshal-led groups began to swallow our group up, causing delays at stop lights and, worse, numerous near crashes. We made a nearly three-mile climb up to Alabama Avenue Southeast. We rode on level ground for three miles in an annoying cluster of apparently novice riders mixed with cars and Metrobuses.

As per tradition, I made a wrong turn onto 18th Place Southwest, but corrected myself before trailing riders followed me. We turned down 18th Street Southwest and hit the long mile of Mississippi Avenue with its humongous speed bumps. We then turned straight back up for 3/10s of a mile back to Alabama. Mississippi was so no worth it. On the bright side we were about to begin 16 miles of nearly level terrain.

Another couple of miles mostly on Martin Luther King Junior Boulevard took us downhill to the 11th Street Bridge where Neena has stopped to direct us onto the ramp to the bridge. Thanks, Neena.

Here’s where the congestion really began to cause problems. We now had at least two marshalled groups and our posse all trying to ride on narrow cycletracks. To make matters worse, the marshals stopped to figure out the route. Ugh.

On the Virginia Avenue cycletrack the rides all queued up for nearly a block at a red light. Not gonna work folks. I jumped on an empty adjacent brick sidewalk and rode past the group. The light turned green but the marshal in the lead was not paying attention. No wonder we were clustering up. Only when I rode past him did he wake up. We came to a crosswalk with some pedestrians in it. I slowed and signaled for trailing riders to stop. After we were underway again, the ADD marshal pulled up along side me and told me in a patronizing tone of voice how I did a good thing. Thank you, Mister Wonderful.

After another pit stop we began another spiral in the southern part of Northwest DC. For sanity’s sake, I left the pit stop ahead of the marshal groups. I Street Northwest has a cycletrack with synchronized traffic lights. I sped up to 14 miles per hour and ran the deck. (My friend Brian would call this “a perfect”.) After passing the District Wharf I rode up the hill toward L’Enfant Plaza where I saw two middle aged tourists on rental e-bikes. Rather than use the protected bike lane the first tourist used a curb cut to ride onto the sidewalk. The trailing tourist did the same but hit a low concrete barrier and took a tumble. A pedestrian ran to her aid. The rider landed in some soft-looking grass so I am sure she will be fine after a couple of beverages.

I rode the Case Bridge over the Washington Channel into East Potomac Park to loop back onto Ohio Drive Southeast. As I did I passed back under the bridge to see the parade of marshal-led riders overhead. Soon I found myself riding on Independence Avenue in a big gap between marshalled riders. Nice.

Our route took us around the Capitol and over near Union Station. The posse had caught up to me here. The next few miles involved a short ride on a sidewalk to Delaware Avenue and a yards-long turn on and off Louisiana Avenue. (We actually missed this one a couple of years ago.)

We took D Street into the core of downtown and made our way to our third pit stop. Domitille and I hoofed it three blocks to a restroom. I’d never have found it without her. South one block. East two blocks. South one block. Down a glass elevator! Maybe WABA should have a 50 bathroom hike.

After the pit stop we played Pac-Man, wending through downtown, Adams Morgan, and Kalorama picking up eight states land Columbia Road. This was a bit traffic-y but we were no longer riding with the marshalled groups.

At E Street Northwest we crossed over Rock Creek Park into Georgetown. It was time to get serious.

We rode the rollers on Reservoir Avenue past Georgetown University Hospital and the French and German Embassies. After a one-mile respite on MacArthur Boulevard we turned to climb the dreaded Palisades hill. We climbed for about a mile. Some of the grades were around 12 percent. I stopped once to catch my breath and let my granny-deprived legs cool down. But I rode the whole damned thing.

Domitille had to walk some of the hill but Timotheé, rode back down the hill to escort her. Awww.

The climb was followed by a short descent to another half mile uphill stretch to Cathedral Heights. Fortunately we had only a mile to go before our next pit stop at a Wegman’s in the City Ridge development.

After about a 20 minute rest, we forged ahead around Fort Reno and through Chevy Chase, DC, picking up five more states in four miles. Oregon Avenue took us down into Rock Creek Park. Shady. Car free. Yay. Short-lived. Boo. We climbed a mile out of the park, topping out at Alaska Avenue, fittingly the northern most state street on the route. This was the last big climb of the day. Double yay. As we turned off of Alaska Avenue we were captured in all our sweaty splendor by the camera of Patti Heck. Each year, rain or shine, Patti takes pictures of the riders here. Over 500 pictures this year alone.

We crossed into Tacoma for our final pit stop at the home of Mike and Lisa and their cats (so many cats). Such nice people. With eight miles to go, we could smell the finish. After scarfing some snacks, we set off down to Petworth for five more states in three miles. Sara and I lost contact with the rest of the posse but picked up Cathy and a young guy who’s name I didn’t get. Nice people, We rolled over to and down Hawaii, our 50th state! (Well played, WABA.)

We continued down to Catholic University. At one point the route cuts through the campus but Cathy convinced us that simply riding the adjacent Metropolitan Branch Trail straight to the finish made more sense. We finished at 4 p. m., about eight hours after we started.

At the finish, we picked up our t-shirts and re-joined the posse for post-ride drinks and food. I was feeling every one of my 70 years.

Congrats to the posse. Well done, especially Sara, Domitille, and Timotheé who did the ride on next to no training.

As for me, despite all the miles I ride, I was a hurting unit. 50 > 70 it seems. I should have eaten the celery.

Thanks

Thanks to the crew at WABA that put this whole thing together. This year’s course tweaks made for an interesting ride. Also, I am thankful that this year there was more than enough water and snacks at the pit stops. And there were plenty of t-shirts for late arriving riders at the finish line.

Also, thanks to the volunteers at the pit stops, especially Mike and Lisa.